Numb
by Anutheal
Summary: OneShot, Harry saw something much different in Severus's pensive that night of Occlumency Lessons. Something MUCH different.Severus Snape's REAL worst memory.


**Numb**

**Disclaimer: Don't Own**

**Summary: One-shot Harry saw something different that night in the pensive during Occlumency Lessons. Something MUCH different.**

**Severus Snape's real worst memory. Flames Welcome**

**Harry stood still, with Snape out of the potions classroom, he had NOTHING to do. It was rather dull, but he would rather be board than undergoing Snape's torture. He began to walk around when he saw a familiar silver glow coming from a small table behind the Potions Masters desk. It was a pensive. Harry turned away, but curiosity got the best of him. What sort of memories did the most hated Professor have? **

**He walked over the Pensive checking the door to make sure Snape wasn't coming and reached in to touch the silvery substance. As soon as his figure should have touched the surface he found him self standing in a dark room. Standing a few feet in front of him was a fifteen year old boy. He was pouring over a sheet of parchment that looked like ingredients and in front of him was a bubbling caldron.**

**"Severus?" a cold dangerous voice said. The handsome teenager, which was apparently a young Potions Master, tensed and looked at the man fear evident in his eyes. **

**"What is it, father?" Severus said dropping the parchment and backing up against the wall. **

**"Come with me, Severus," the man said making his voice sickening sweet.**

**"I can't I have to finish the potion for…"**

**"NO COME WITH ME NOW!" Sindraone Snape stalked forward and grabbed the cowering Severus by the elbow. Harry heard a sickening crack and Severus pressed himself against the wall trying to fight the obviously stronger man. In the struggle Severus's fist connected with Sindraone's jaw. **

**Sindraone froze, "You insolent filthy whore!" he stood and pulled out his wand, "Crucio!" Severus curled himself into a ball and whimpered. Harry froze, he knew how much the Crucatius curse hurt, and to bare it with just a whimper was frightening. Sindraone released him from the spell and then grabbed his arm and apparated.**

**The scene changed and he soon found himself standing in the middle of circle of Death Eaters. Severus's father stood in the middle holding his half crouching son next to him, by the hair. Severus cradled his broken left arm, but much to Harry's surprise there were no tears or flickers of pain in the young potion master's eyes. They were the familiar emotionless black pools of darkness gazing at the floor as if blocking out everyone around him. **

**Just then Voldemort stepped forward and Harry felt a prickle in his scar. The Dark Lord kneeled in front of Severus and put a spidery white finger under his chin, "Severus, my beautiful little serpent, I am surprised you do not wish to join us. We would treat _so_ well."**

**Severus stared calmly into his red eyes and spoke, "I would rather die a traitor's death 100 times over and rot in hell than join you," **

**Harry's jaw dropped, Severus's voice was calm and low and had the silky dangerous tone to it. **

**"YOU DARE SPEAK TO THE MASTER LIKE…" Sindraone started but Voldemort cut him off. **

**"Silence, Snape, he has no choice but to join us now. Malfoy, bring the brand," a young, about seventeen, Lucius Malfoy stepped forward with a sizzling hot metal rod. **

**Voldemort grabbed Severus's chin roughly, "you will pay for ever insulting me,"**

**Riddle grabbed Severus's left arm and forced the sleeve up and Harry was appalled at the sight before him. His arm was bruised with what looked like finger imprints along the wrist and forearm, and it was cut as if finger nails dug deep into the skin. Riddle grabbed the metal rod and forced the brand on to his forearm. **

**Harry's eyes widened with horror as his young potions master withered with pain and realization hit him. Severus Snape, most hated Professor in the school, didn't become a Death Eater at will, he was forced too. **

**All the things Harry ever said about Snape came back to him. All the insults and un-trust he felt rushed to his head and he felt disgusted with himself. **

**Just then the view in front of him blurred and he was standing in Hogwarts grounds. A raven haired boy sat crossed legged in front of a fiery red headed girl, his nose stuck in a book. The girl was combing her hands through his silky hair in the shade of a tree next to the lake.**

**"Severus," the girl, said annoyed at his silence.**

**"Lillian Evens," he responded in the same tone. **

**Harry's jaw dropped, his mother and Severus Snape were _friends!_ It was amazing. Sirius and Remus never talked about his mother, rarely did they even mention her, but if Snape was friends with her maybe he could….no…its Snape for goodness sake. Snape hated him. Harry laughed to himself and turned his attention back to the pair in front of him. **

**Lily was on her knees in front of him, now, glaring darkly.**

**"Severus Jodiki Snape," she snapped.**

**Harry grinned noticing the Irish temper. **

**"What," Snape snapped back.**

**"What is wrong with you, Severus, ever since you came back from visiting your father, you've been one of your moods." She placed a hand on his arm and he flinched.**

**"I'm fine, Evens," he said shrugging off her hand. Harry felt himself getting angry. Snape just calling his mother by her last name, that was just disrespectful, but the smile of Lily's face called him. Then Harry had to think. Did Snape get angry like that when he heard them calling him by his last name? Was it really that wrong? But it didn't seem to bother Lily. **

**"I don't think I would even answer you if you actually called me by my first name," Lily said then got serious, "Look, Sev, you're my best friend and if something was wrong you would tell me right?"**

**Severus just nodded numbly and Harry stared at them in disbelief, _best friends!_**

**"I need more than a nod Sevvie," he glared at the nickname but she ignored him, "you've been my best friend since 2nd year, Sev, I know you. Promise me you'll tell me if something is wrong, promise."**

**Severus sighed, "I promise, I just won't tell you things that you don't need to know," he smirked in triumph.**

**"Oh! Severus Snape, you're horrible!"**

**Before Severus could respond a male laughter rang through the air and the duo along with Harry spun around, James Potter and Sirius Black.**

**"Well, well, well, if it isn't dirty little Snivellus," Sirius taunted. **

**Severus pulled out his wand and stood up, "Were all your whores today, Black, run them all out already, and it's only the second month of school. You're loosing your touch," Harry bit back is laughter, knowing Snape he could outwit Sirius without any effort. Harry hated to admit it but he was silently rooting for Snape.**

**Sirius paled then turned furious, "Snivellus, defending himself today, got some anger built inside ya, eh? How come?" Sirius' voice had lost some of its confidence. **

**James stepped forward, "Ya know, Sirius, I hear Voldemort got some new recruits, you think Snivellus…?"**

**"NO!" Sirius responded in mock disbelief.**

**"Or maybe…?" James trailed off and they exchanged looks. **

**"Awww….poor ickle Snivellus, Daddy wouldn't let ya join ittle wittle Death Eaters?"  
Severus tensed and Harry felt a horrible, disgusted feeling in the pit of his stomach.**

**Is that why Snape hates him so much? He though he was like his father, or maybe he just hated everyone? Either way Harry now new why Snape carried such a huge hate for James Potter and Sirius, James was a bastard and a bully. **

**Just then he felt a strong grip on his upper arm as he was pulled out of the pensive, "what are you doing?" a cold familiar voice snapped at him. **

**Harry stared at him wide-eyed only seeing the cowering abused boy.**

**"Get out," Snape's voice got dangerously low as he let go of Harry, "Get out!" **

**Harry stumbled out of the classroom and behind him the door slammed and automatically locked. Harry sunk down leaning against the door all he saw flashing through his head. He turned towards the door on his knees and closed one eye to pear through the key hole. **

**What he saw made him stare in absolute shock.**

**Severus sunk to his knees in horror realizing his least favorite student just saw one his worst memory. He closed his eyes tightly and bit his lower lip and leaned against his desk, his raven locks falling in front of his eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself to stop shaking.**

**Harry watched Snape shake with fear and close his eyes. What was Snape afraid of? That he would tell someone? No…he wouldn't though, but he would have a good long talk with Sirius. He watched Snape again with a flash of sympathy. He hated seeing a Professor or any adult in such a state of weakness. Snape never seemed the type to let people know his weaknesses, very secretive and strong in body and mind. All of a sudden Snape gasped, eyes snapping open and grabbed his right forearm in pain. Harry froze and sucked in a sharp breath. He was being summoned. **

**Snape took one final deep breath and stood and pulled out his wand with one wave a new black robe went over his normal ones. This one had a hood with a silver trim so did all the hems.**

**Harry's heart skipped a beat at the sight of the all too familiar robes, Death Eater robes. Snape walked over the large fireplace and take a handful of Floo powder, just before he through it in he let out a long tired sigh and Severus couldn't help but feel sorry for him. **

**Severus through the powder in muttering something and disappeared. **

**Harry turned away from the door thinking over everything he just saw.**

**Severus Snape was abused as a child. There was no proof but it was fairly obvious by how his father treated him and the marks and cuts on his arms. So that explained many things, why he is such a bastard, he is pushing people away, he doesn't trust anyone. **

**Harry stood and walked out of the dungeons, numb.**


End file.
